I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
