I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
