i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
