I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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