i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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