You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
