everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
