Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize