I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize