3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm going to jail i love you
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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