I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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