We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
