If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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