I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
