I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
