how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize