This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I look better un-naked...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
