he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
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You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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