i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
