I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sobbing to NWA
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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