I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How external is "for external use only"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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