I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
