I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
