it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
