I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
