Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
