The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
