I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
