Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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