I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize