i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
