kristin has been a bad kristin
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
