i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
