I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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