She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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