I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
