Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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