Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
