"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
