ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
