Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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