new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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