I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
