I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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