The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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