I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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