And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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