the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
