i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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