Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
