Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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