I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm like, not good at living.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize