I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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