i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
