At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
