Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Randomize
