cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
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