Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Pappa wants mamma naked
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
