I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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