i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
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It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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