It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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