She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
