not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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