You're a womanizer and a bitch.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
