They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
